I bought a ticket
Hopped on a plane
The engine started
And I flew down to Mexico

And when I got there
I met a girl
And she was pretty
So I had sex with her

Her skin was soft
She called me Jose
And when we finished
We decided to make pillow talk

She spoke in Spanish
But I speak English
It was apparent
That we needed a translator

And so we found one
His name was Jose
He spoke in Spanish
He also spoke English and French

We started talkin'
She called me Jose again
I felt like hot shit
'Till I found out how old she was

Fourteen year old secret
Can't tell my mom
Fourteen year old secret
Can't take her to prom

Fourteen year old secret
Now that I've nailed
My fourteen year old secret
I'll go to jail

And I don't wanna go to jail

And I was scared
(Can't go to jail)
I was frightened
(Bad things happen in jail)
So I called my sister's husband
'Cause he's a lawyer
A real good lawer
(He'll get me out of jail)

He said you can have sex with anybody you want to in Mexico as long as she's older than twelve and not a boy

Was she a boy

No she wasn't a boy
She wasn't a boy

I bought a ticket
Hopped on a plane
The engine started
And I flew down to Mexico

And when I got there
I met a girl
And she was pretty
So I had sex with her

Her skin was soft
She called me Jose
And when we finished
I decided that I'd write a song

Fourteen year old secret
Can't tell my mom
Fourteen year old secret
Can't take her to prom

Fourteen year old secret
Now that I've nailed
My fourteen year old secret in Mexico

I won't go to jail
I won't go to jail
I won't go to jail
I won't go to jail

But I'll go to Hell